We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
