So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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