Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
