I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
there is glitter all over my balls
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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