im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Boobs speak an international language.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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