next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
