I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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