i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My dick has a subreddit
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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