so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize