It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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