Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
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i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
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Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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