At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
