You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
