Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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