we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I have post one night stand depression
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
