You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
