I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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