Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
