party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
