Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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