My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
