If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
