I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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