I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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