Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
