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I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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