Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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