Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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