when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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