Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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