Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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