mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize