I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
