No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
