oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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