trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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