But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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