Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
