So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
