Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
