drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
