Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
