sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
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well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
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We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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