Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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