IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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