When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
