Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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