just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize