and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
