I am in a vortex of obligation.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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