I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
