That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
