pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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