Swine flu. Run for my life!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
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I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
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If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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