I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
COCAINE IS GR8
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