Can Purell be used as lube?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
