yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
