You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
