What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize