I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
