just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
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