Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
