Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We're too hungover to prance.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
