I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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